E-Cigs: Too Brownian for Prime Time?

In an article from Live from Golga-Frincham, Mary Ann Jarvis believes she’s discovered why people are taking up vaping faster than other anti-smoking products: it’s the vapor.

To be more precise, it’s the Brownian motion of the vapor. For those who slept through physics, Brownian motion in the seemingly random motion of particles caused when they bounce off other molecules or atoms they’re suspended with, and describes (to a degree, at least) why vapor clouds swirl and tumble the way they do.

“We see ourselves thinking. This is a highly powerful and addictive effect and an effect, crucially, that means vaping will forever partner smoking and forever be the knock on the door reminding you of the existence of cigarettes.”

But it’s not just the hypnotic qualities of the swirling vapor that make vaping so attractive, says Jarvis, but something much deeper. “The gently uncoiling swirls of vapour offer up a mirror to the electrical activity that swishes through our brains, remodelling the workings of the inner world in the outer world and transforming thoughts into something material, apparent and circumambient to the flesh: we see ourselves thinking.”

According to Jarvis, this Brownian motion inextricably links vaping with smoking, and inevitably causes people who see it to think of cigarettes.

Her answer: devices like the Gerskzer Plume, which creates a mist which, rather than being exhaled in a cloud, escapes in “a long, straight, responsible line.”

Note: We’re about 97% sure the article’s satirical, so don’t freak out. Just to be sure, we went ahead and Googled Gerskzer, which turned up absolutely nothing.

E-cigarettes: vapour is the magic ingredient, but it’s dangerously brownian | ☁.

E-Cigs: Too Brownian for Prime Time?